Taking a leave of absence

 

 

From Lulubelles Managerie and from horses. It could be just a couple months or it could be a year or more.

Obviously I can’t completly ignore my horses, nor will I. But my entire life and existence can no longer revolve around my horses. They just are not worth it anymore.

I’m not sure exactly when the break started, but I believe it was somewhere around three years ago when my mom died and suddenly I had a lot more responsibilities and time constraints. Even since then my horse time has just gone downhill, I also resent it a little bit for taking any extra time I would have previously spent on think I did when I was younger.

I spend more and more time away from my horses, and feeling guilty for not paying attention to them. But I can’t feel guilty for just plain not wanting to be with them.

I have found lately that I want to be the person I was before my mom died. Weird that at 20 years of age (well almost 21 now!) I want to be the person I was at 15 more then anything else.

 

This has been coming about for a while now, so its really not a big surprise for me. It hurts, but I just don’t seem to enjoy having to make time for horses, probably because I use the term “have to” so much with them any more. I love all my horses a lot, but  for now they will be more like pets that I can pamper when I feel like but not have to feel guilty for not riding or driving. Yes, I will ride and drive, but not as much and only when I don’t have any else I might want to do, which quite often I do.

 

I’ll be on here from time to time I would imagine since I will still have ride stories to relate, but not as much as before.

I will be switching over to a new blog for my non-horsey posts, it should be fun!

My new blog: http://jlbennett.blogspot.com/

 

I’ll try to still read my current list of horsey blogs whenever I can, but it will probably slip a bit. Unless I completly change my mind about a vacation from horses. But considering how long and gradual this change as been, I doubt it.

 

Fare thee well!