There are just no words really. Well don't let my boyfriend hear that!! I have been talking his ear off!!
So I have come to the difficult decition again. Yes that one. I just don't know what to do.
Do I put her down or not? Is she that unhappy or not? Can I continue to handle the stress or not? Will I be able to be happy without the horse I want? Because Lucy is turning into more of a bitch everyday! I know she needs time off and some more fun stuff, but I just know that she is not cut out for endurance.
I know I can't give Kezi away. Does that mean I am stuck with her for the rest of her life? Constantly wondering how much pain she is in? Having to deal with her being lame then being sound then being lame? I know it sounds mean to say I would be stuck with her, but for me, in my situation I need my horses to be useful, and since Lucy really isn't but was here first, I think the staying rights go to her.
I think knowing what is wrong with her would only make the decition more difficult. Would there be a way to make her sound? How sound woudl she be? Not sound enough to do endurance I am sure. Then I have a horse that I don't feel comforitable with giving away, but can't use for what I bought her for.
Maybe I need to just see what options there are as far as giving her away, maybe I am too pessimistic about it.
I just want a horse that enjoyes going out for a ride and working. That doesn't have health or soundness issues. That doesn't run away from you every time you go in their pasture because they hate going out to do anything.
Maybe I just don't need horses.
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