Sort of. Horses have been very much so on the back burner lately. Or possibly they have been taken off the stove altogether. I desperatly want to be doing stuff with them, but just don’t have the time/energy/motivation. I really wanted to get Lucy pulling this fall. I really really want to drive her. I think she would enjoy the training. I think she would enjoy driving. I also think that I won’t be getting her driving because I don’t seem capable of following through on anything anymore.
The really annoying thing, is that horses have not been pushed aside for some other really big importaint/fun/exciting/life changing/has to be done kind of thing. Its just because my stress level has reached a point where I am always tired and often on the verge of tears. Some days it nearly impossible to get the energy just to do my normal everyday work.
Add on top of that my incredible desire to do a bunch of work around the house, both inside and out, in the garden, at the hay barn and tack room and in the pasture as well as work on the horse trailer, but I never have the energy to do any of it. It makes everything very overwhelming and frustrating.
Loren’s work schedule has been increased so that he generally gets to work at 10am and works 6 days a week (sometimes 5 and sometimes 7), which makes doing anything at home with the horses very hard. I’m so tired from being stressed out that I never seem to get enough sleep, so I sleep in. And when I do get up I generally have housework I have to do. I don’t know how women who work full time keep their houses clean.
Anyway, the point of this post was to point out something that I realised the other day. While I truely love making plans and schedules for my horses, I really think they are not helpful, to a point of being unhelpful actually. When I was younger I never did that kind of stuff. I trained two driving horses and finished Lucy into a nice trail horse without a plan, without a detailed schedule for training and without keeping track of every training session or writing down progress. I just went out everyday and trained them. Because I wanted to. Because other then school work (and that was very flexible) I had very little I had to do or think about.
I think I would be better off just taking my horses out when I can schedule in the time, and just brushing them until I decide what the hell I want to do with them.
I think about my horses all the time. I think about what I want to do with them, I think about what they should be learning and what I would like to do with them.
Now I need to go do something with them.
