But I kinda feel like I have! Or at least the normal me.
Things have been hectic and rough. Really rough. Not for me, but for my dad which might as well be me for how much it affects me. In fact it stresses me out more. I don’t let issues in my life affect me too much, but when its someone else’s problems that I need to handle, its much more stressful.
I’m also stressed wanting to do things in my life that I used to do and am finding that I just don’t have the time or energy for those anymore. I am having a very hard time handling this as well.
I’m very, very frustrated with my horses, or I was anyway. Now I just don’t have the energy to do anything with them.
Lucy first:
I really wanted to start doing some flatwork with her and work towards some eventing. I was determined that I would be able to do training with Lucy out on the trail, with enough determination I could do it, I was sure. Except I have very little drive to actually do it.
Then I realized that I hate shows and that all I would be working towards with eventing. My problem is that I want to wow everyone with my amazing little horse. I want to take the horse world by storm with my amazing skills with my little grade horse. I think to big and always fall short of my hopes. My life would be a hell of a lot easier if I just aspired to lower aims. I don’t seem capable of looking low and therein is the problem of my doing anything for any length of time.
Well anyway, back to my mare. I have been riding out of the trail with her every once in a while and have been enjoying that. I am pretty sure I want to get her ready for the Fireworks endurance ride so I can get that first endurance ride out of the way and see how Lucy handles it.
My other plan is to get her driving, eventually.
Georgie is a whole nother kettle of tea! First off, she is by far smarter then Kezi, and that scares the daylights out of me! I am so worried of messing up with her that I am too scared to do anything with her. Well that and I don’t have the time to work with her (bad, bad me!!). Some moments she is an excitable Arab that doesn’t think, just moves. And other moments she is a thinking, calculating Morgan, that knows exactly what I want, and then decides if she wants to do it.
She has surprised me in two different instances lately. First, one day when I had her tied up and was working with her hooves, she got her lead rope caught over the top of her head. I have seen well grown, fully trained horse flip out over such instances. Georgie just tensed and waited while I fixed her.
Also, my future endurance horse is…. a jumper! In my paddock I have a small stall area that is raised up. On two sides the walls are about 4 feet high with a 2X6 about 4 inches off the ground (there were planks all the way up to make it enclosed but Lucy popped them all out with her big fat butt!). Georgie thinks that jumping down this is a funer way to get to the other side of the paddock, despite the fact that its also on a hill once she lands. Lucy could never navigate that without hurting herself, and she certainly wouldn’t do it unless she felt that was the only way to get away from something scary.
Georgie is smart, calculating and very sure of herself. Like I said, I am scared shitless that I am going to mess up with her. I think she has limitless potential for whatever she puts her mind too. I’m trying to keep things simple with her right now, teaching her to pick up her feet and go for walks with me and bond with me. But even those easy things will encounter other issues and I am scared of approaching it the wrong way.
Other then that I adore my filly!
On a non-horsey side note, I got truly drunk for the first time ever a couple of weeks ago ( I have been pleasantly tipsy before) and lets just say I will NEVER do that again AND I will NEVER DRINK VODKA AND POMAGRANITE MIXED TOGETHER AGAIN.
Ever.
Ever.
Ever.
Again.
Got it?
Good!
